Back From Flu Land

If you get the nasty flu that's going around, here are my recommendations:

Day One: Stay in bed. In between trips to the bathroom, that is. Or, just put your mattress on the bathroom floor. You're gonna be spending a lot of time in there. Sip clear fluids, as tolerated. Oh, and be sure you're stocked up on baby wipes. I like Huggies. Take Tylenol for the body-ache.

Day Two: Call in sick. Stay in bed. It's easier by now, though you'll still be needing those wipes and probably some ointment, too. Sleep as much as you can. If you think you can make it, take a quick shower before you collapse from weakness. Have your spouse bring you the laptop so you can check the blogs, but you won't have energy for more than about five minutes. Use those five minutes to ask your friends to pray for you, because you feel like you might be dying. Drink plenty of juice, ginger ale and water. NO food. But then, you won't want any food. Just liquids, but NO MILK! Please. Late in the day, try some Jell-O.

Day Three: Try getting up. Take a shower. Go back to bed. Keep up the liquids-only diet, include Jell-O. Go to work for 3 and 1/2 hours. Go home and spend the rest of the day on the couch. Late in the day, try some vegetable soup, but only eat the carrots and broth.

Day Four: Get up. Shower. Eat a banana. You're on your way back to health! Try some applesauce. Tuck you spouse into bed and give him some Tylenol. It's his"Day One".