The First Hundred

...in the light of eternity. "Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest." Wilson Mizner

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Back From Flu Land

If you get the nasty flu that's going around, here are my recommendations:

Day One: Stay in bed. In between trips to the bathroom, that is. Or, just put your mattress on the bathroom floor. You're gonna be spending a lot of time in there. Sip clear fluids, as tolerated. Oh, and be sure you're stocked up on baby wipes. I like Huggies. Take Tylenol for the body-ache.

Day Two: Call in sick. Stay in bed. It's easier by now, though you'll still be needing those wipes and probably some ointment, too. Sleep as much as you can. If you think you can make it, take a quick shower before you collapse from weakness. Have your spouse bring you the laptop so you can check the blogs, but you won't have energy for more than about five minutes. Use those five minutes to ask your friends to pray for you, because you feel like you might be dying. Drink plenty of juice, ginger ale and water. NO food. But then, you won't want any food. Just liquids, but NO MILK! Please. Late in the day, try some Jell-O.

Day Three: Try getting up. Take a shower. Go back to bed. Keep up the liquids-only diet, include Jell-O. Go to work for 3 and 1/2 hours. Go home and spend the rest of the day on the couch. Late in the day, try some vegetable soup, but only eat the carrots and broth.

Day Four: Get up. Shower. Eat a banana. You're on your way back to health! Try some applesauce. Tuck you spouse into bed and give him some Tylenol. It's his"Day One".

18 Comments:

  • At 3/08/2006 2:10 PM, Anonymous Mom said…

    Golly. Kade, I didn't know you were THAT sick!! I've been under the weather myself, but glad it's just a cold and not what you have (had?). How's RIch doing?

     
  • At 3/08/2006 3:14 PM, Blogger Kc said…

    I'm so glad you're better but poor PR! We'll put his name in place of yours and add yours to the "thank you dear Lord" column. ;-)

     
  • At 3/08/2006 4:30 PM, Blogger Corry said…

    I am so glad to hear you are better and sorry to hear about PR.
    Like Kc said, a prayer for him and a "thank you Lord" for you:-)

    God's Grace.

     
  • At 3/08/2006 7:24 PM, Blogger Badoozie said…

    is this a chronicle of your last few days? ick. day one, take narcotics and pass out, day two, take more, day three, call NA.

     
  • At 3/08/2006 9:02 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    Hnnggnnh! AhChoo! Nggngh! Mbee, doo!

     
  • At 3/08/2006 10:34 PM, Blogger Jim said…

    Poor babies! Get well fast.
    ..

     
  • At 3/09/2006 12:03 AM, Blogger audrey` said…

    Thanks for the tips.
    You're so kind :)

     
  • At 3/09/2006 7:39 AM, Blogger Jenn said…

    Gingerale and saltines is all I ever want. Childhood sickness comfort food.

     
  • At 3/09/2006 8:01 AM, Blogger An Ordinary Christian said…

    Next year: flu shot?

     
  • At 3/09/2006 6:41 PM, Blogger Rachel said…

    Oh dear it sounds horrible. Today I have had to stay close to the bathroom from diarrhea. I hope this passes quickly and is not the beginning of something.

     
  • At 3/09/2006 9:16 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    Karen, once in awhile I dream in Spanish because I speak Spanish. I regret that I don't speak better. I was born and raised on the Mexican border...

    May I invite you (and your fans) to read My Other Blog.

    http://douglasaz.blogspot.com

     
  • At 3/09/2006 9:24 PM, Blogger John Cowart said…

    Oh, this sounds so miserable! And the two of you are playing relay too. Really sounds miserable... but you describe it so well. Good writing about a tough experience.

     
  • At 3/09/2006 10:05 PM, Blogger uncle joe said…

    poor seeker
    poor PR

    I guess it's good that you're not sick at the same time

    I crave peanut butter when I'm sick ??????

     
  • At 3/09/2006 11:14 PM, Blogger Pia said…

    i hope not to catch that bug again. i've been sick three times since last month.

     
  • At 3/10/2006 7:26 AM, Blogger Aunt Jo said…

    I bet PR is glad he was so good to you and took care of you when you were sick and probably smelly! :o)

    Hope you all are feeling better soon.

     
  • At 3/10/2006 9:26 AM, Blogger Kc said…

    We pray PR is better today and hope this thing will pass from your family. ;-)

     
  • At 3/11/2006 12:41 AM, Blogger Jim said…

    Well, I hope you guys are feeling better now.
    There are two really mean kinds of flu going around that the vacine doesn't prevent.
    One is respiratory, the other digestive, in nature. Maybe next year.
    ..

     
  • At 3/11/2006 10:32 AM, Blogger JB Digital Photo said…

    Boy you nailed that to a tee. It keeps getting passed around here. Someone one has been sick every day for the last 3 weeks.

    WHEN IS FLU SEASON OVER?!?!?!?!?

     

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